How video games can power up your parenting | Hannah Boquet (re-release)

Playing Fortnite with her sons when they were 10 and 12 gave Hannah Boquet a way into the online world they shared. Rather than only asking them about the game, she joined them and let them teach her how to play. They laughed together, and she could see how they connected and communicated while gaming. For Boquet, the experience made video games a practical way to build a relationship: her sons could lead, she could learn from them, and they could spend time together on their terms.

Boquet says parents’ concerns about children communicating with strangers in games are valid. Playing alongside a child does not make those concerns disappear, but it can help a parent understand the environment firsthand and talk with the child about navigating it more safely. She also says she does not regret saying yes when her children ask her to play Fortnite or Minecraft, even when she is busy. Her experience suggests that a parent’s willingness to join in can matter more than being skilled or particularly interested in the game.

Her interest expanded from family play to eSports, which she describes as competitive digital games ranging from Fortnite, Mario Kart, and Rocket League to chess played on a computer. South Dakota sanctioned eSports as a high school activity. Boquet points to the skills involved in team play and competition, including leadership, teamwork, communication, strategy, and managing difficult emotions. She sees eSports as an activity that can bring together people of different ages, backgrounds, and abilities, while helping schools foster belonging and teach skills with uses beyond gaming.

After agreeing to play Fortnite with her sons, Boquet researched eSports and helped develop a competition in Sioux Falls. She co-led South Dakota’s first all-ages, free eSports competition there last September. Its board agreed to bring the event back for a second round in October. The project grew out of her effort to understand her children’s interests, but it also created an unexpected opportunity to connect with people in her community. Her account links a personal choice at home with a broader effort to make competitive gaming accessible.

Boquet’s own father also used video games to connect with his children, even though he did not like games and was not good at them. When she spoke about him, he had been gone for eight years, and she wished they had made more gaming memories together. That recollection gives her advice added weight: a parent need not be an expert or enjoy the game to make the time meaningful. Joining a child can itself become part of the relationship they remember.