How to make parenting less lonely | Stacey McLachlan

Parenting can leave people socially isolated even when they are surrounded by family responsibilities. An Action for Children study of 2,000 people found that 68% of parents felt isolated from friends after having children, while 40% felt unsupported. A separate UK study found that half of mothers under 30 felt lonely often or always. Stacey McLachlan connects those figures to an 80-year Harvard study that identified close relationships as the biggest indicator of success, longevity and happiness. The value lies not in having a large circle, she says, but in relationships with people who care and remain invested.

Parenthood can strain friendships when parents and childless friends can no longer share their usual activities. Restaurants, pubs and cafés may also be difficult to navigate with young children, leaving families with fewer opportunities to socialize alongside adults. McLachlan argues that excluding families from these spaces weakens the wider community. She sees multigenerational “third spaces”—places outside home and work—as a way for parents and children to connect without separating parents from adult social life.

After struggling to maintain adult friendships while parenting in Vancouver, McLachlan created Witching Hour, a family-friendly gathering at a cocktail lounge. The venue’s owner welcomed the idea, and the first event sold out in a day, with 60 children expected. One attendee took a 90-minute bus journey from the suburbs with two children. The gatherings later ran more than 30 times at Please Beverage Co. and other bars around the city, bringing parents and childless friends together. For McLachlan, creating the events also helped her feel more connected to her community.

Her belief in shared spaces comes in part from her childhood townhouse complex, whose communal courtyard offered neighbors a place to spend time together. McLachlan remembers it as making family life joyful and fostering friendships that her parents still have. The example illustrates how a space need not be designed solely for children or adults to support both: a communal setting can make it easier for families to meet and for relationships to continue over time.

McLachlan encourages businesses to make one night a month family-friendly and parents to ask local venues to welcome groups of families. These spaces need not revolve around drinking; people can enjoy themselves without alcohol, and adults supervising children should drink responsibly. She also urges city designers and planners to create more places for multigenerational interaction. The broader aim is to make ordinary social life more accessible to parents, rather than requiring them to choose between time with their children and connection with other adults.